SO. One of my "goals/resolutions" for 2013 is posting more frequently/regularly. You may have noticed that I haven't really been making much progress with that resolution. And there's got to be some irony to the fact that part of why I haven't been posting much is because I've been spending every free second I have lately READING Harry Potter (irony because, if you remember, one of my other resolutions was to read more). What I've found is that I need to work on balance. I kinda already knew that... but I need to think about and pursue it more. I want to have balance in lots of areas of my life: my leisure time, my "working on the house time", my eating habits, and so many other areas. I also want to be able to truly RELAX and enjoy just "being" sometimes.
One time I do usually relax and chill out completely is while feeding Skylar right before bedtime. It's one of the most calm, balanced, sweet, times we have during the day. She snuggles up against me... and nurses... really well. I watch her and usually hold one (or both) of her hands. And I sigh in contentment, I smile at her with wonder at how much I love her. And then I get sleepy (what can I say, apparently oxytocin and prolactin make me sleepy -- who knew?) It's one of the few times in my day when I'm not trying to multitask and I'm just sitting, still, taking everything in. It's often when I take pictures of Skylar nursing, too... mostly because those are some of the moments when I feel most connected, and crazy in-love with my little baby girl.
So, I guess this is what I'm seeking elsewhere... balance, the ability to enjoy whatever I'm doing in that moment and not feel like I "should be" doing something else... (because when I'm nursing Skylar I truly feel like that's EXACTLY what I should be doing in that moment):
(Not sure how or why this became a post about breastfeeding, but oh, well, sometimes posts have a mind of their own).
Until next time, Emily
P.s. I'm still working on Skylar's 6 month entry! It's coming! Promise!